Couples Counselling in Brighton and Hove and Online
using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
You are both thinking; we can’t go on like this.
You have tried talking to each other, perhaps even reaching out to friends or family, but things aren’t changing. Perhaps now is a good time to bring in an impartial but experienced voice; I have helped hundreds of couples learn to communicate effectively and regain the trust and love they once took as a given.
I have found the use of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) in my work with couples to be highly effective at creating lasting change. EFT is an empirically tested collaborative approach. It has unprecedented success in helping distressed couples move out of feeling stuck and on to developing a more secure, deeper relationship bond. As research has demonstrated, it is an approach to love and relationships with lasting results.
This said, what exactly is EFT?
EFT focuses on the fact and reality that we are inherently social-relational beings. We are neurologically hardwired for survival premised on reaching out for and maintaining strong emotional ties with our partner and loved ones.
We are powerfully attached to our partners, relying on them for comfort and support to maintain wellbeing. Healthy attachment enables us to be more resilient and joyful. To ensure such healthy attachment, we need our partner to be accessible, responsive and engaged when we turn to them for support.
How do we get into trouble?
EFT understands distress in relationships as the loss of secure emotional connection. When this happens, a negative cycle or “dance” develops as each partner tries to cope with the loss of contact.
In these negative cycles, couples can respond with anger, criticism or blame. Fights and distance is created through silence, distractions and withdrawing. Once established, these negative cycles can surface over the seemingly most inconsequential of issues. Over time, these patterns erode the bonds of trust and security in the relationship.
How can EFT couples counselling help?
EFT aims to stop these negative cycles. To achieve this, we need to map them out, make sense of them. We then move on to helping you identify and articulate your individual needs in a way that allows your partner to develop understanding and empathy. In turn, each partner can then develop and offer more loving, compassionate responses.
This approach transforms distress into security and closeness, offering consistent and lasting positive relationship change in areas such as emotional / physical intimacy, safety and resilience. As you nurture these and other dimensions of your relationship, you will both be better placed to deal with future conflicts and stress.
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What do we do next?
If you want to avoid a path where you continue to grow apart, call, text or email me today. This will allow us to determine whether EFT with me is the right choice for you both.