Attachment-Focused EMDR (AF-EMDR)
Attachment Focused-Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing
How can AF-EMDR help?
Sometimes, difficult experiences can get “stuck” in the nervous system, along with the original thoughts, feelings, and images. This can leave us feeling triggered or unsettled long after the event has passed.
Attachment-Focused EMDR (AF-EMDR) uses gentle eye movements or tapping (known as bilateral stimulation) to help the mind and body reprocess these experiences.
This allows the memory to be stored in a calmer way, reducing distress and helping you feel more at ease. It’s thought to be similar to what happens during dream sleep, when the brain naturally processes experiences.
What happens in a session?
We begin by choosing a current situation or memory you’d like to work on and noticing the feelings, thoughts, or body sensations linked to it. While you hold this in mind, we use tapping or eye movements to gently support the processing.
You don’t need to make anything happen – just notice what comes up.
At times, I may pause to ask what you’re experiencing, then encourage you to “go with that” as we continue.
We’ll check in along the way, sometimes asking you to rate how distressing the memory feels.
The process continues until the memory no longer feels as disturbing, leaving you with a greater sense of relief and calm.
AF-EMDR Roadmap
Many clients tell me they feel reassured when they understand “What will we actually be doing in therapy?”
I believe in being open and transparent, so this roadmap gives you a sense of how AF-EMDR usually unfolds.
It’s important to know that this is always a gentle, collaborative process. We will go at your pace, with your story, and with close attention to what feels safe for you.
Stage 1. Resourcing
We begin by creating a strong sense of safety and steadiness together. This may include developing inner resources, such as a peaceful place or connecting with nurturing, protective, or wise figures in your imagination. These resources help you feel supported and grounded as we move forward.
Stage 2. Target Selection
When you feel ready, we gently identify the current or past experiences and beliefs that may still be affecting your life. We decide together where you’d like the focus to be, always keeping your comfort and choice at the centre.
Stage 3. Reprocessing
With your consent, we use bilateral stimulation (auditory or physical tapping) to help the brain naturally process and release stuck memories or emotions. This part of the work can bring a sense of movement where things once felt blocked.
Stage 4. Integration
Over time, you may begin to notice positive shifts—such as feeling lighter, clearer, or more compassionate towards yourself. Past difficulties can start to feel less charged, allowing more space for resilience and self-confidence in daily life.
AF-EMDR is more than revisiting memories—it supports you in rewiring how you see yourself and others, so that you can reconnect with your natural capacity for trust, joy, and wholeness.