Blog
Finding Yourself in Relationship
When we first fall in love with that special someone, we want to spend all our time together. We feel better when we are with our significant other. This is the infatuation stage, and admittedly, it feels terrific. But enduring relationships move past this stage and...
How Do We Keep The Spark Alive?
When you build a fire, whether to warm your home or add ambience on a cold winter night, it is vital to tend the fire to keep it going. Relationships are the same. Beginning with that initial spark, we need to tend to it to keep the heat. Many couples are ready to...
When is it time to ask for help?
Depression and anxiety are complex and vary widely between individuals. Therefore, recognising situational discomfort that will shift through time and something more serious requiring professional support can be challenging. To get the measure of a mental health...
Five Tips To Support Your Relationship During Holidays Times
The holidays shouldn't be a demanding time, but often they are. Below are some tips to help support you. Take the pressure off yourself. We're bombarded with images of the 'perfect' gathering. We can feel this is what we are expected to achieve – but it's essential to...
I have been betrayed, should I stay or go?
Betrayal brings unbearable pain, but research shows a relationship can heal. Affairs can teach us a lot about our relationships and who we are. They offer a unique peek into our experiences, coping mechanisms and belief systems. An affair does not need to mean a...
Introducing Neurodiversity
When we speak about human behaviour or ways of being in the world, we have traditionally described someone as having normal or abnormal behaviour. But, recently, specialists have begun to look at things in a broader, more inclusive way. What Does Neurodivergent Mean?...
Stress and the Body
The saying goes, "Into every life, a little rain must fall." Stress is like rain. A little of it can be a good thing. But too much can cause havoc and devastation. Our bodies are designed to handle a little bit of acute or sudden stress. But when stress is prolonged...
But We Are Just Friends: Emotional Affairs Explained
Sex is not the only form of intimacy humans share—a long-term relationship experiences many types of meaningful connections. However, intimate behaviours are understood to remain exclusive within the primary relationship. If the sanctity of that connection is...
What is a Couples Counselling Intensive?
Over the years, more of my clients started to ask for longer, more frequent sessions. So, I developed a one to three-day-long program to meet the need for more intensive ways of working. The Couples Counselling Intensive was born. Maybe you feel stuck in a repeated...
What is a Secure Attachment?
Within families where parents can be attentive and responsive, children learn that they are valued and loved. Children are taught that it is good to pay attention to their emotions, they are encouraged to express themselves, and caregivers offer a sensitive, in-tune,...
What is Fearful-Avoidant Attachment?
Fearful-avoidance attachment style means feeling both an anxious need for another and an urge to avoid intimacy, resulting in what seems to be irrational behaviour towards those we love the most. Relationships can be characterised by a painful spiral of approaching...
What is Avoidant Attachment?
Roughly 25% of us relate in what is known as an avoidant attachment style. According to attachment theory (for more on this, please see previous post: What is Anxious Attachment?), we all need to feel accepted, loved and cared for, and it is as vital as food and...
What is Anxious Attachment?
The foundations of the model (EFT: Emotionally Focused Therapy) I use in my work is based on attachment theory. So let’s start by exploring a bit about attachment. Psychologists John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth first developed attachment theory in the 1950s and 1960s....
The Power of Vulnerability
Dr Sue Johnson, the developer and creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy or EFT (the approach I use in my work), describes what happens when couples get stuck in negative and reactive communication: "In insecure, distressed relationships, we disguise our...
What is Emotional Incest?
Many of us experienced dysfunctional households growing up, where boundaries between parents and adults were blurred in unhealthy ways. Emotional incest is not sexual, but it does describe harmful and neglectful emotional interactions that are psychologically...