Fearful-avoidance attachment style means feeling both an anxious need for another and an urge to avoid intimacy, resulting in what seems to be irrational behaviour towards those we love the most. Relationships can be characterised by a painful spiral of approaching...
Roughly 25% of us relate in what is known as an avoidant attachment style. According to attachment theory (for more on this, please see previous post: What is Anxious Attachment?), we all need to feel accepted, loved and cared for, and it is as vital as food and...
The foundations of the model (EFT: Emotionally Focused Therapy) I use in my work is based on attachment theory. So let’s start by exploring a bit about attachment. Psychologists John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth first developed attachment theory in the 1950s and 1960s....
Society seems to place values on things that appear perfect. However, as human beings, it is not possible to reach a state of perfection. We will always be a work in progress as we are constantly changing. Perfection indicates a finality – a finished product – but we...
When we desire to be in a relationship, we are not wanting or needing company only. Most of us are looking to find intimacy in life. But what is intimacy? Intimacy is not the same thing as sex. You can have sex without intimacy. Intimacy is authentic and genuine...
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