The saying goes, “Into every life, a little rain must fall.” Stress is like rain. A little of it can be a good thing. But too much can cause havoc and devastation. Our bodies are designed to handle a little bit of acute or sudden stress. But when stress is...
Roughly 25% of us relate in what is known as an avoidant attachment style. According to attachment theory (for more on this, please see previous post: What is Anxious Attachment?), we all need to feel accepted, loved and cared for, and it is as vital as food and...
The foundations of the model (EFT: Emotionally Focused Therapy) I use in my work is based on attachment theory. So let’s start by exploring a bit about attachment. Psychologists John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth first developed attachment theory in the 1950s and 1960s....
Dr Sue Johnson, the developer and creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy or EFT (the approach I use in my work), describes what happens when couples get stuck in negative and reactive communication: “In insecure, distressed relationships, we disguise our...
Many of us experienced dysfunctional households growing up, where boundaries between parents and adults were blurred in unhealthy ways. Emotional incest is not sexual, but it does describe harmful and neglectful emotional interactions that are psychologically...
Society seems to place values on things that appear perfect. However, as human beings, it is not possible to reach a state of perfection. We will always be a work in progress as we are constantly changing. Perfection indicates a finality – a finished product – but we...
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