We often do not have great role models for communication in our intimate relationships. If you find yourself struggling, hoping things will get better with your partner but not knowing what to do, the tips below might be an excellent place to start.
A healthy relationship strives for accessible, responsive and engaged communication. The following tips will help you both to start the process of becoming closer through your daily connection.
Try to give each other your full attention
We live in an age of technology, which means most of us have had our heads buried in our phone or a tablet often, hindering our communication. When you speak your partner, try to give your full attention to what they are saying. Pause the TV watching, put the phone to one side, and make eye contact.
Let the other finish
It is not easy to feel misunderstood by our loved one but try to resist the urge to interrupt your partner when they say something hard to hear.
Be aware of raising your voice
Try to refrain from raising your voice as more often than not, your message will not be heard. It may sound too simplistic, but it does help take a slow, deep breath when you feel your anger rising.
When your partner is talking, try to be with their words rather than thinking about how you will respond. Listening is a skill that develops over time, but why not start now?
Following these communication tips will give you both a much better chance of reconnecting and feeling safe in your relationship.
If you would like to find a counsellor who can guide you in your relationship recovery, please reach out to me. I would be happy to talk with you about how I might help. I am seeing my clients online through zoom and in my office in Hove.