How To Heal After A Loss Of A Significant Relationship
Experiencing the death of a partner is one of the hardest things we can face. Often what can make grieving even more challenging is the feeling that somehow we are doing it wrong?
Grieving is a unique experience, as your relationship with the person who has passed is unique. As author Anne Morrow Lindbergh describes, ‘suffering no matter how multiplied, is always individual’.
Remember: You Will Survive The Loss
The pain of a loved one’s death often feels so tremendous that we can fear we may lose the will to live or that our emotions will overcome us. It is essential to remember feelings, no matter how overwhelming will not harm you.
Not feeling emotions and bottling them up to avoid them can have a direct effect on our physical well-being. Avoiding the pain of loss can stunt our ability to grieve, and we end up holding on to pain into the future.
Understanding The Ebb and Flow of Grief
Grieving is a process with little stillness. There is often movement, an ebb and flow. You may find yourself having a day when you feel like you can finally catch your breath. You can notice a sunny day; you can laugh again. Then the next day, you feel that old familiar darkness and despair of grief sliding under your skin.
Look after yourself as you would a dear friend during this time. Getting enough sleep and eating well, even if you are not hungry is really important. Keeping up your strength is essential.
Try and get regular fresh air and move your body. This will help you alleviate stress and tension. And above all, try to be kind and compassionate to yourself mentally and emotionally. You may find yourself crying suddenly, it’s ok. Just let yourself feel the grief, as it ebbs and flows.
Reach Out For Support
Many around you will want to help you during the weeks and months that followed the loss. Try not to be afraid to reach out, ask for help and receive support. If you need someone to watch a child so you can go out for a much-needed walk, ask. If your partner was the one who organised the household finances get a family member or close friend to come over and help.
Seek the guidance of a psychotherapist during this time. They can help you work through the overwhelming emotions and develop coping skills. If you would like to talk more about how I can support you during this time, do not hesitate to be in touch. I offer sessions from my office in Hove or Online.