“Dust yourself off and start all over again…”
“Get right back on that horse…”
These are just some of the common phrases we use to support the idea that trying something after it didn’t go so well the first time is a good idea. And in many instances, this is the right attitude. But there is something to be said about taking a break after a breakup.
When you’ve ended a difficult marriage or relationship, you may feel like putting yourself back out there and start dating again. But here are some reasons why it’s best to stay single for a while:
You Need to Process
The more prolonged and more significant the relationship, the more events and feelings you’ll need to process. Dating is an excellent distraction from emotions, and why you need to remain single for a while. It’s essential to handle all of your feelings regarding the relationship and the breakup. Ignoring your feelings will only cause them to fester.
You Need to Learn
Every heartbreak in life is an opportunity to learn a valuable lesson. Now is the time for you to think about what went wrong in the relationship and why? What was your part in it? What could you have done better? How will you choose your next partner based on your experiences?
Failure to truly understand your relationship history will only cause you to make the same mistakes.
You Need to Grow
We can all bring emotional baggage our next relationship, or we can move towards bringing a new version of you that feels more healthy and vital. Now is the time to nurture yourself and your passions. What hobbies have you been ignoring because of your broken relationship? Have you wanted to take a night class? Learn a new language or travel more? The more time you spend on yourself now to grow as a human being, the more you will have to offer in your next relationship.
Breakups are never easy, but they are often a part of life. The key is to take some time to reflect on the one that just ended. What can you learn, and how can you grow?
If you would like to discuss this further with an experienced relationship counsellor in Brighton and Hove, please contact me.