“The spark’ is a phrase that I hear a lot when it comes to romantic relationships. You might have felt ‘the spark’ at the beginning of your relationship, and as a result, the early days were exhilarating for you and your partner. However, like every other flame, ‘the spark’ needs to be kept alive by both partners. When you think of intimacy, you probably imagine physical attraction, and sexual relations, however, intimacy is so much more. It encompasses both the physical and the emotional.
AT the beginning of your relationship, you can’t seem to get enough of your partner. You want to see them all the time, and they are always on your mind. Naturally, romance blossoms and intimacy feels effortless.
However, as time goes on, life sort of gets in the way. Routine and the stress of everyday living makes it almost impossible to sustain high levels of intimacy without effort. It takes practice, time and effort to keep intimacy levels high in any relationship.
Here are five ways to strengthen the intimacy in your relationship, and keep your flame burning hot.
- Make time to plan special events together.
As your relationship develops, you are bound to form a routine. However, routines become boring. Shae things up by making an effort to do inspiring things together, this does not need to be fancy, just different from the norm. It will provide a much-needed breath of fresh air in your relationship and help you discover new things about each other.
- Create a space for conversations about your relationship.
Talk about your relationship, your current lies, plans for the future and your emotional well-being. Try as much as possible to be vulnerable with your partner and let then see the real you. Lack of communication and bottling up negative emotions can lead to resentment. Explore the things that make your relationship work, and strengthen your commitment to each other. Having a therapist facilitate these conversations can make them fruitful and rewarding.
- Be thoughtful.
Intimacy isn’t always about grand gestures. Something as simple a writing your partner a love letter or sti=ocking up on their favourite snack can make then feel incredibly loved and appreciated.
- Make time for only each other.
It can be hard to focus on one thing in today’s digital world, and sometimes we unconsciously pay more attention to our gadgets than to our lovers. At least once a week, turn off all electronic devices and participate in an activity you both enjoy. You could watch a movie, cook together or give each other shoulder rubs. This gives you time to appreciate each other and connect on a deeper level.
- Express gratitude.
Every night, before bed, express gratitude for one thing that your partner did during the day, no matter how small or random. This will again help them to feel loved and appreciated.
If you would like to improve intimacy in your relationship and strengthen the bond between you and your partner, please book a session with me, and we can discuss this more.