Couples Counselling in Hove and Online to Explore Meaning in Relationships
Many authors from Victor Frankl to Pema Chodron have talked about the importance of living with a purpose. Purpose allows us to transcend the individual self and create meaningful moments of emotional connection in our relationships.
Frankl, as described in his seminal text, Man’s Search For Meaning, pursuing meaning in life is far more important than pursuing an idea of happiness. It is from meaning that happiness can be experienced. Meaning helps us to organise our past, be present in the now, and see clarity for the future, helping us to feel and appreciate our healthy interdependency with each other.
Purpose in our most intimate relationship is more important than striving for an idea of happiness. The longevity of a relationship is often connected to a couples ability to create shared meaning, where values are shared, and goals for a life together are set and worked towards alongside each other. A thriving relationship involves building a life together where dreams and desires are not only visualised, but where we work together to help them become realised.
While happiness is a feeling that often fades, meaning and purpose, with work can become a constant. Below are three ways you and your partner can create and share goals.
Commit To Creative Time
In therapy, couples are often encouraged to commit to a date night regularly to stay connected. Although having fun together is helpful to a relationship, it is not more important than sharing a vision and creating it together. Try to find time each week to create a shared vision and figure out how you are going to make that vision become a reality. This could be as simple as making a regular meal together.
During your dreaming and planning together, try and be open to hearing how the other feels and what they have to say. Dreaming and planning your life together is not the time to be critical. Staying open and non-critical will create an environment of safety, and this is where the magic can happen.
Share the responsibility to make things happen once you have come up with your goals, whatever they are, redecorating the kitchen, planning a breakaway. Be sure to keep yourself and each other on track and to support one another, stay encouraging. Remember, you are on the same team, cheer each other on so you can achieve together.
For your relationship to thrive, it is essential you both commit to spending quality time together, being open and respectful toward what the other has to say and sharing the responsibility of seeing your dreams come to fruition. If at any point, you find your communication is troubled in this process, consider seeking the guidance of a couples therapist who can help you reconnect and tackle any issues you might be having.
If you and your loved one are interested in exploring this further, please contact me about couples counselling. I have an office in Hove or can offer Online couples sessions. Call me today. I would be happy to chat more about how I may be able to support you both.