As a couples counsellor, I often have a front-row seat to relationship change. However, it takes two people wanting to work together to find a way through and then putting in the effort to make this happen.
I have seen couples go from starting to sign divorce papers and separation to being back in love, and having newfound respect.
Couples therapy can be a potent change agent, but what allows some couples to make it while others don’t? The couples I have seen recover to form an even stronger union have had certain things in common.
Commitment to the Process
Many couples come in after years of unhappiness, which makes it all the more important to commit to the process entirely, making it a priority. Don’t allow other commitments such as work get in the way of this work.
It’s common to be sceptical of therapy if you have had no experience with it. It is also common to feel sceptical that the issues between the two of you are too big to resolve. My professional experience has shown me that there is a way through for most relationship issues. However, if you believe that there is not, you’re setting yourself up for failure right at the outset. Real change requires an open mind.
Do Your Homework
During your sessions, I will help facilitate new ways of communicating and ask you to be mindful of what happens during the week. Although this is not homework as such, it does require investment in becoming aware of the part that we play in our negative communication cycles.
I use Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) to help you both navigate the difficulties you have been through and support you to become aware of what happens for you individually and together when we start to become emotionally disconnected.
If you are looking for support for your relationships, I’d be happy to speak with you both. Don’t hesitate to book a free 20-minute telephone consultation to see if how I work might be a good fit. I offer sessions from my office in Hove and online.