Grief After a Miscarriage
Throughout our lives, we experienced the loss of loved ones and friends. But there is no more significant loss than that of a child. The pain of such a loss is devastating.
If you’ve experienced a miscarriage, you are most likely feeling sadder and more grief than you ever thought possible. While your body may have healed, it may feel like your heart may never heal. It is possible that you will, at times, feel an assault of emotions, disbelief, anger to guilt, sadness, depression and numbness.
You may also experience physical symptoms as a result of this emotional stress, including fatigue, trouble sleeping, difficulty concentrating, lost appetite, and tearfulness. Hormonal changes that occur after a miscarriage can often intensify these symptoms.
The Grieving Process: What to Expect
There are three main stages of the grieving process after a miscarriage.
Stage one: Shock/Denial
You can not believe this loss happened. I often hear clients saying, this should not have happened. You took great care of yourself. How could this of happened?
Stage two: Anger/Guilt/Depression
Feelings of shame and anger can take over your life. You may find yourself studying every detail of your pregnancy over and over to find out what it was that you did wrong. You may feel guilty that you were not able to give your partner or husband a child or your parents or grandchild. The sadness can feel overwhelming. It can feel not easy to function.
Stage three: Moving Towards Acceptance
Maybe you can begin to recognise that you are not alone, that many other women have experienced a miscarriage.
It may never be ok that this happened, but you start to move towards integrating the experience into your life. Slowly, over time you are able to feel joy in other aspects of life.
It is essential to understand that each stage of the grieving process will take longer to go through than the one before. Setbacks are normal. You may think you have finally coming to a place of acceptance when you go to visit a pregnant friend and find yourself crying in the bathroom.
Your path to healing will be benefited by both you and your partner being sensitive and respectful of each other’s different needs and the grieving process. Accept your different coping styles and always keep lines of communication open.
If your loved one has experienced a miscarriage and is overwhelmed with emotions, you don’t have to go through it alone. If you are concerned about the effect that this profoundly difficult event is having on your relationship, please contact me, and I’ll discuss. We’ll discuss How I may be able to help. I offer couples counselling from my office in Hove and online.