Many of us are all too familiar with this uncomfortable scenario: someone initially catches your eye, but for one reason or another, you lose interest. After letting them know you’ve changed your mind and are no longer interested, they keep messaging you. Alternatively, perhaps you’ve never been interested in someone, but they seem to think you’re wrong about your feelings and keep trying to persuade you otherwise. Dealing with unwanted romantic attention online can be annoying, anxiety-inducing, and distressing in many ways. Here are some precautions you can take to do the best you can to avoid these kinds of interactions.
Look for Friends
If you’re looking to start friendships, make it clear from the beginning that you’re not looking for a relationship. This doesn’t always work to dissuade a persistent harasser, but it’s a good place to start covering your bases.
Start Incognito
Don’t give out your mobile number to anyone you haven’t met in person. Use a Google Voice number or another messaging app that doesn’t show your phone number and has a blocking feature just in case. You can also create a unique email address specifically for dating.
Don’t tell people where you live or work. You can share what you do and the city you live in, but keep the details to yourself.
Go Somewhere New
When you meet, don’t take them to your favourite spots. Choose a location you’re unlikely to return to, so you don’t risk bumping into them if you have to break things off.
If You’re Not Interested
If things aren’t going well and you need to end it, be very clear with the person that you’re not interested in pursuing anything romantic and don’t want to communicate further. Don’t try to “drop hints” or sugar-coat your message. This only creates ambiguity, allowing them to think “maybe there’s a chance.”
Instead, be direct and honest about how you feel. When you let the person know you’re not interested, ensure your message ends with a “final goodbye.” For example, “I’m sorry, but I’m not interested in pursuing a relationship” or “I don’t see this going anywhere romantic. Good luck.” Attempts to soften your message with emojis or compliments will only muddy the waters, and they might take this as a cue to intensify their efforts.
Stop Responding and/or Block
If they keep responding to you, ignore them despite the temptation to react negatively. Don’t agree to be friends. If they continue to pester, block their number. Do not answer calls, respond to texts, or agree to meet for closure, to return items, or for any other reason.
