Experiencing a divorce or separation can create a lot of anger and bad blood between two people who were once best friends. It may feel like everything is falling apart. Trying to co-parent when you’re struggling to keep going can be overwhelming. Learning to co-parent might not be simple, but it’s not unreachable. The following five strategies are to help you start organising your thoughts around co-parenting with your ex.
Put Your Focus on The Children
By maintaining the focus on what is best for your children, you can work towards providing a smoother transition to new living arrangements and other changes that will impact them. Providing them with consistent, loving stability and structure will help ease them through this challenging time.
Communication is Essential
As you go through this process of divorce or separation, communication with your ex will inevitably be strained at times. It may be challenging to communicate; you may not want to talk to or hear from them. However, it is essential that communication regarding the children is maintained, and that your children are not used as messengers. Always communicate directly with your ex, finding creative ways to avoid conflict.
Communication For the Kids
If you are harbouring resentment or have unfinished emotional business with your ex, the desire to express your emotional needs can feel overwhelming. Please make a commitment to yourself for the sake of your children’s well being to stay focused on issues around the children and their needs. Seek support through counselling to help navigate resentment and emotionally unfinished business.
Get Support to Embrace the Changes You Facing
During this time, there will be a great deal of change for yourself, your ex and your children. By getting psychological support to help you cope with expecting and embracing change, you can reduce the levels of stress you may feel when the unexpected presents itself.
Prioritise Your Health
Maintaining your health is essential during this stressful time, for you and your children. As they learn to cope and adapt to the changes in their family life, having a healthy, happy and rested parent will help them adjust. Additionally, taking time to exercise and eat healthily will help you move the focus from your separation, and shift the focus back onto you individually moving forward, making positive changes for the next stage in your life.
As we go through a divorce or separation, we grieve the relationship that has changed. We mourn for the hopes and dreams we had for the relationship. Although your ex may no longer be your partner, they are still your child’s parent, and you will always be co-parents of your children. Learning to get along and communicate will bring comfort to your children as they learn to cope with the changes in their parent’s relationship.
If you are dealing with the process of separation or divorce and struggling to find ways to co-parent with your ex, please call me. I can talk to you more about the ways I can support you during this difficult time.