Couples Counselling brighton hove

Three Questions After Discovering An Affair


Discovering that your significant other has betrayed you is devastating. Most feel completely destroyed once they discovered the infidelity and do not know how to feel or react to the situation.

To help you process abs understand how to proceed, here are three questions to ask yourself after an affair.

1. What On Earth Should I Do Now?

Once the affair has been discovered, it is very typical to feel out of control both mentally and emotionally. It may be impossible for you to think clearly and focus on daily tasks. For this reason, you must avoid making any rash decisions that you might later regret. Rash judgements can disrupt healing.

It is essential that you get support to help you process what has happened, to help you organise your feelings before making significant life changes. By getting support to gather information, you may find it easier to make informed decisions rather than rash ones while feeling overwhelmed by emotion and stress.

2. Why Am I Feeling Like This?

After the discovery of an affair, it is very common to experience symptoms associated with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

PTSD symptoms can include:

Flashback, a feeling of reliving an event

Avoidance, needing to stay away from of people, places and activities previously enjoyed

Low mood and negatively distorted thinking

Heightened emotions and reactivity, anxiety and hypervigilance

3. Why am I Questioning Myself?

After discovering a betrayal, you may begin to question yourself.

You may find yourself shifting from feeling safe and secure to anxious and fearful. Internalising the situation or blaming yourself is common, though not very helpful to your overall well being and can even further traumatisation. 

If you are dealing with betrayal, asking yourself these three questions will begin the healing process.

Are you or your loved one dealing with the aftermath of an affair? Do you need help and support in making decisions that are right for you? 

I offer couples counselling to help you both move through the aftermath of an affair from my office in Hove and online. I would be happy to speak with you both about how I may be able to help.

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