When we desire to be in a relationship, we are not wanting or needing company only. Most of us are looking to find intimacy in life. But what is intimacy?
Intimacy is not the same thing as sex. You can have sex without intimacy.
Intimacy is authentic and genuine closeness with another human being. It is a connection that grows over time and allows us to feel safe in vulnerability.
While intimacy can bring unparalleled joy into our lives, it can also feel incredibly frightening for many of us. To be intimate means to open yourself to another human being. It means showing up, warts and all.
Ultimately, intimacy is a fantastic by-product of an emotional connection built over time by two individuals who deeply love and respect each other.
What does fear of intimacy look like?
Many of us struggle with the fear of intimacy. People who fear intimacy may grapple with trust issues. These trust issues may show up as anger, shut down, pushing others away.
These behaviours once protected us from the experience of being physically or emotion
ally neglected or abandoned, and we developed avoidant behaviours during childhood. Many of us who find ourselves in these self-protective behaviours find physical contact difficult and cannot easily share our feelings or express emotions.
How can counselling help?
If you believe you fear intimacy, counselling can be a powerful tool to help you work through and understand underlying causes.
This process can also help you heal from any past traumas and feel safer in getting close and connecting with others.
If you would like to work on your intimate connection within relationships, please reach out to me. I am working online and seeing clients in my office in Hove.
