All couples can hit obstacles along the way. When this happens, we can go it alone and try to work through issues, or they can seek the guidance of a trained and experienced psychotherapist. While some couples feel their problems should be kept private, many more are finding the value of seeking help from an impartial and non-judgmental third party.
Here are three ways individual counselling can help your relationship.
Identifying Behavioural Patterns
Most of us are aware of our partner’s behaviours but unaware of our own. Also, most challenges faced by couples is the result of the patterns between them. However, when you only see half (or less) of the experience of the relationship, the difficulties can seem confusing and overwhelming.
A therapist is trained to help individuals recognise their negative patterns and how they manifest in a relationship. The result is both partners are empowered and able to take a step back during conflicts as they occur, preventing escalation.
As a bonus, a therapist can also point out the strengths and resources they find in your relationship so you can leverage and learn how to nourish them.
Change at the Root Level
Once your therapist has helped you identify negative patterns, they can then help you understand why they are happening and assist you in changing them. Most behavioural patterns are formed and ingrained when we are very young within the systems that surrounded us– before we become self-aware and before we’ve met our significant others.
Understanding why your partner reacts a certain way can create empathy and help communication. Once you’ve laid this solid foundation, your therapist can give you specific adjustments that can change your relationship for the better.
A therapist will not only tailor changes based on your unique dynamics as a couple; they will help you practice the adjustments and encourage you to remain vigilant and consistent. The result is a deeper intimacy and a deeper understanding of each other with a renewed commitment to meet each other’s needs and desires.
While you may first feel embarrassed discussing relationship problems in front of a stranger, ultimately a psychotherapist who specialises in working with relationships can bring you both to a more fulfilling phase of your partnership.
If you or a loved one is interested in exploring this further, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.