Breakups are not easy.
No breakup is ever smooth, but some breakups can make you feel like you’ve been punched in the stomach. Moreover, during those times, it can become sincerely challenging to see a way forward. Maybe your friends and family don’t seem to understand why you are struggling so much, but you have every right to your feelings and your journey of mourning. (Because yes, you are allowed to mourn over a relationship!)
I know that things may feel alone right now, but I’ve got two great pieces of news for you. One, you’re not alone – your struggles and experiences are valid and often very painful, but you can take strength knowing that many other men and women like you find a way to fight through similar harsh experiences all the time. So you can too.
The second piece of good news is that you have the power to make yourself feel better. Now, I’m not trying to say you can snap your fingers or make a mental decision, and suddenly you’ll feel better. However, you are capable, and there are many things you can do to help yourself climb out of this hole and back towards your personal “normal.”
Let’s get you started with a handful of substantial first steps you can take.
1. Practice self-care.
Instead of wallowing in your misery, distract yourself by indulging in something you genuinely enjoy after all self-love is the essential love! Do something you’ve always wanted to do, take yourself on dates, sign up for that class you have been thinking about. It will help you feel better.
2. Use social media smartly.
You might want to stay off social media during this period. Seeing pictures of happy couples on your Facebook or Instagram feed might unnecessarily trigger you. Remember that nobody’s life is as perfect as it appears to be on social media.
3. Rely on your support system.
Nobody should have to go through a breakup alone. Calling good friends and crying it out on the phone can be incredibly cathartic, plus you get to hear someone you love remind you of how excellent you are. Allow your friends and family to be there for you.
4. Find a good therapist.
Talk therapy can help you with some much-needed evaluation. It can help you see what went wrong in the relationship, what you need in a relationship, and who you are.
5. Seek your passion.
Find something that you’re delighted doing, and spend much time doing it. That way, you have something positive to channel your emotions to, and you’d be too busy having fun to think about your ex.
6. Practice gratitude.
Think about all the other people in your life who love you completely, and be thankful for them.
7. Focus on becoming a better person for YOU.
Now is a great time to do those things you’ve always wanted to do. Start exercising, eat healthily, learn a new skill, and travel somewhere new. Grow in as many ways as possible and watch yourself flourish.
Remember, grieving the loss of a relationship is entirely rational. Give yourself the time and space you need to get through the breakup. Seeing a professional therapist is a significant step towards healing. If you need someone to help you through your breakup, please reach out to book a session with me.