Telling your children that you are separating can be the one thing many of us dread. You may fear your children’s reactions. Verbalising it may also make it more real for you.
Every child and every family is different, so it is essential to take the time to think about your children and your family situation before starting this process.
Your separation is a life-changing event for you and your children. The more you plan, communicate with each other and prepare the better you can support them through this.
Your children’s needs will depend upon their age and development, the following some suggestions that you may find it helpful to think about telling your children about your separation.
If you can, speak together about how you’re going to talk to the children.
If it does not create unmanageable conflict, it can help to tell your children about your separation together.
Maybe think about how you (and your ex) may react while telling the children. Consider how you both deal with things if they get difficult.
What is a good time and place to have this talk?
Often, the family home is the most comfortable place for children to be.
If you’ve children are young, they may want something to play with which will help them stay focused. With older children and teenagers, avoid the distraction of TV, phones and computers if possible.
Try and pick a quiet time when there will be no interruptions and nowhere to rush to afterwards so you can all be around if necessary.
How will they take this news?
It is very reasonable to have expectations of how your children may react. However, reactions can vary and are sometimes delayed.
Please reach out for support if you are thinking about the process of telling your children about separation. I would be happy to discuss this with you both.