When we are young, we are often taught how to share and play well with others. Somehow as adults, these early lessons do not always translate into building and maintaining loving relationships.
However, it is never too late to learn new life skills, and creating healthy relationships is one of the most important skills you can cultivate. The following are the essential relationship elements of lasting love. If you can master these, you will set yourself up to experience a secure and supportive relationship for the rest of your life.
Create Trust and Mutual Respect
Even the most loving of relationships is going to be put to the test every once in a while. All couples experience ups and downs and the stress of everyday life. The key is to not take that out on each other.
Create a safe environment in your relationship where each of you can speak honestly and freely. Never interrupt or yell or belittle the other person. Should things get too heated, step back, and wait until things cool off.
“For better or for worse’. If you are married, those are words that you agreed to. If you are not married, you still chose to partner with another human being who has flaws and quirks just like you.
It is essential to accept your partner and not judge them too harshly. This does not mean that you have to like everything they do, and it does not mean that you cant remind then every once in a while that there are some things that they do that wind you up.
However, it does mean that you should try and be as compassionate as possible. Compassion is the opposite of judgment, and it allows you to be open and fully connect with the ones you love.
Make Time For Each Other
It is far too easy to get busy and neglect your relationship. Many couples get to the point where they become more like roommates than a romantic couple. Don’t allow this to happen. Be sure to make time each week to check in with each other and reconnect.
Be Responsible For Your Feelings
No one can fix us or make us better. We must heal ourselves from old wounds and scars (we all have those). Our partners should be there to support us in becoming whole, but ultimately it is our responsibility to heal, not theirs.
These guidelines can help you, and you love stay a positive force in each other’s lives. However, let’s face it, sometimes life can come at us, and before we know it, the relationship is suffering. At times like these, it can be constructive to speak with a couples’ therapist who can guide you through the rough patch and get you reconnected.
If you and your partner would like to explore this further, please get in touch. I would be happy to discuss how I may be of help.